My life and my lessons

First of all, I wanted to give you this:

I am not sure where I got the idea, and it wasn’t mine to begin with. It’s a phone background to obviously remember to always breathe. The impetus of life: our breath. There is obviously no pressure or expectation to accept the gift. Just a share. I like to help. And sometimes I help with things or thoughts that noone thought they need, or wish to accept. You will obviously have to rearrange some icons on your phone desktop to manage the fitting of it, but this works on mine. If you would like to have it somewhere else, it is a .png image, so you can move where you like with some experimentation in Adobe Fireworks or Photoshop. Maybe other photo editing programs I don’t know. I use Fireworks. I can do it for you, but there would be a small fee involved. I aim to please.

With that being said, I wanted to put some thoughts here to…I don’t know…reveal some stuff.

THE CURRENT EVENTS

My life right now is in a bit of an upset. I am not sure if the ‘dip’ is a recent change in events(last 6 months or so) or something that has been building over much more time. Nonetheless, I am sure it was meant to be, and I will handle it and come out victorious.

My journey of meditation and self-reflection has revealed things. There may be more cranial aberrations that rear their ugly heads to be conquered and I will do so in kind. My quest with Holosync may be to ‘blame’ as I was told it would do some emotional stirring.  From what I have learned, everything happens for a reason. So I suppose it is my fault. But it had to happen. I suppose it had to happen in this way.

I remind myself of that whenever I remember to. Which sometimes seems is not enough, the reminding part.

I have always been one who was about positivity. But it is lately I have discovered I am a fraud. To myself, mostly.  The facade I portrayed hid a side my ego was thriving in. One where I put blame on all around me instead of taking full responsibility for my own well being. It seemed very easy to do that, I gotta tell you. I am grateful that I have discovered this and as I am writing this I am thinking that maybe I am being too hard on myself as I have just come to the realization.

We will just leave it at that.

I am a creator-as we all are-and I have created where I sit right now. I am grateful that things are not much worse as some humans have it, but I still desire to be in a better state than I am in right now.

We gotta start somewhere.

It just seems inconsistent with being a creator that one can be hit with curveballs from something you never even fathomed would happen…when you are supposed to be your creator of your life.

That gives you doubts.

WHAT TO DO NEXT?

You must have faith, again, that everything happens for a reason.

It seems I may have lost my way or have some things I had to hash out before I may continue on.

I am praying for the latter.

Hmm, I said pray. That is not like me.

I am not a church going human as I am not one to believe we all are sinners. I have kept an open mind and watched different movies about Jesus as our savior so although there seems to be irrefutable truth that Jesus existed, the sinning part just doesn’t feel right to me.

Taking a go at church in the past, I don’t feel synonymous with the humans around me on those Sunday mornings. Trying harder to be that type of Christian seems fake. I certainly did not feel compelled to go back, so I didn’t.

Moving along, I feel as I am in the valley of a journey that will make me a very strong human. Or maybe I am coming out of said valley and climbing now to the crest of my success…and maybe I have a lot of climbing to do.

I am confident with my realizations thus far and a newly acquired clarity in my vision, that the climbing is minimal. But as a fresh voice in my head just declared “If it doesn’t suck, it’s not worth doing.

Some of me resonates with that statement, but another part of me says “Life is easy.” Either way, I am there. With my mindset, it will probably suck to other humans, but I won’t feel it as such as I know the rewards I will reap.

LOOKING FORWARD

So I have two sites I regularly author to now: this one and optimize-your-life.net. which is obviously my way of helping fellow humans in their quest and an affiliate marketing experiment as well.

When I saw the last quarter of 2016 income dwindle, I knew there had to be more. The income I made at the job(which I did and still do love) was hard to replace in its entirety. Taking a 9-5 job would require many many hours and probably still not supply my accustomed-to lifestyle.

Maybe that situation was in the ‘plan’ of my life.

So discovering affiliate marketing and forging ahead, I am taking my passions of writing and of wanting to help humans and my skills of web development and making a dent in the fabric of the Universe.

Said Jack Canfield “Everything you want is on the other side of fear.”

So is it still fear if you feel confident that you will succeed?

I think I may have found a hole.

 

 

 

 

Posted in ego, mindfulness, positivity, spirituality Tagged with: , , , ,

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